Other Women Keep Telling Me My Husband is a Catch

Should I feel threatened?

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

I’m married to a good guy — a great guy.

The number of times I have been told that my man is ‘such a catch’ is so frequent that I couldn’t possibly count them.

I do have a stellar husband. He’s a solid partner. He’s generous, handsome, and loyal among many other flattering attributes. I am well aware.

Yet certain people, predominantly other older women, keep telling me what an amazing guy I am and how I should be grateful for that.

My husband and I run a business from our home. He goes out in the field and interacts with most customers in person, while I do the communication and office legwork from my phone or computer. I text customers daily and also speak to them on the phone.

When I make phone calls, they are usually made to our older female customers who still only use a landline. I can end up talking to them on the phone for quite some time if I catch them on a particularly lonely day. These ladies seem to have no problem telling me what a fantastic husband I have and how they would gladly take my place if we were to get divorced or… something.

Quite frankly, I’m not sure I would ever say these things to another woman if the tables were turned.

These women my husband interacts with seem to think he is the ultimate specimen of perfect mate material, and they have seemingly decided that I don’t know what I’ve got going for me.

“What a great guy you have there.”

“If I wasn’t 30 years his senior, I’d give you a run for your money.”

“That man of yours is a real gem.”

“I told your husband if you guys ever get divorced, I’m his gal…”

There’s more, but I think you get the gist.

I get the drift that there may be ladies out there laboring under the assumption that I may not get the point about how lucky I am. As if I don’t know I have a hard-working, good man. As if I just take him for granted somehow.

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While these sneaky implications sting a little from time to time, I don’t generally take them too seriously.

Most of these women have never met me in person, so I see how they might concoct an impression of me in their mind of a woman who isn’t grateful, or who takes a solid man for granted. That’s most likely just a projection on their part that is influenced by their emotional baggage.

My husband and I are both in our second marriages with one another. We know what it feels like to commit to someone and then lose them. We know what it feels like to tell ourselves we have failed at an important relationship that is supposed to last forever. We know what taking someone for granted feels like and what it feels like to be underappreciated.

The people making assumptions about our marriage or about my level of knowing what I have in a partner don’t truly know us — especially as a couple.

Most of the time these comments don’t bother me because I know the truth and hardship that has built my relationship and marriage from the ground up.

Sometimes I do wonder if I’m just a woman who takes my catch of a husband for granted. I do ponder if there’s another woman out there who might give my husband the credit and appreciation he deserves in a way that I’m not capable of.

Then, I remember that the grass is always greener on the other side. Truly it can seem that way — especially if you’re a much older person who lost their partner(s) at some point and perhaps sees this younger version of that person in the form of someone else’s husband coming around to see them regularly, fixing things for them, talking to them, and being a generally decent human to them.

I get it. I do. My man is one of the good ones. Those are rare these days. I picked a good one. This is why I tolerate these types of comments from the older ladies who covet my husband. I allow them to channel their nostalgia for better days and their sadness over their lost loves through him.

Oh, and by the way, my husband picked a pretty good one too.

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