At first, I was resentful and jealous. I wasn’t even sure our relationship would survive this decision without going through some major war zones as a couple.
My husband had chosen to travel to Europe without me, to Amsterdam, a place I had always wanted to visit.
Amsterdam has always been on my bucket list, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Millions of tourists visit this Dutch city every year to absorb its culture and European delights.
But there is more to this story.
My husband wanted to go to a Pink Floyd concert in Amsterdam with our 18-year-old son. It would be bona fide father-son time. Of course, he did invite me and our daughter on the trip, but we both knew it wouldn’t be convenient for me to go on this excursion schedule-wise or to take our much younger daughter along.
So, I attempted to be gracious and say that I didn’t mind the two of them going on this trip together without me. To a place I’ve always wanted to go.
It wasn’t easy. I had to listen to them talk about the trip for several months before it came to fruition. I entertained their excitement and supported their expectations.
However, when the day for them to get on the plane started approaching, something unexpected happened.
I wasn’t jealous anymore. I was relieved. I realized that my initial reaction to the whole trip happening without me was probably a bit dramatic, and that I hadn’t thought everything through regarding how staying behind would affect me. I was actually looking forward to it.
Even though I would still have my daughter and all my regular responsibilities while my husband and son were gone, I’d have a much-needed staycation.
There would be less laundry, fewer dishes, and less stress. My daughter and I would have girl time together. I could walk around the house with no bra. I was actually getting really excited about the trip by the time it finally arrived.
Once they left, my daughter and I had a great time. I got alone time I hadn’t had in years while she was at school or asleep. I got the entire bed to myself. No one was snoring next to me. The laundry baskets were close to empty, which never happens. It was delightful.
My husband missed us terribly. He called at least twice a day and messaged me frequently. I kept telling him to put his phone away and enjoy his vacation, while secretly enjoying my little vacation at home.
All in all, this trip to Europe ended up being the best thing to happen to our family and my marriage. Our son couldn’t wait to get home by the end of it, and my husband came home appreciating me more. My daughter and I experienced some fantastic chill time at home. I also missed my husband, which is always great for a marriage.
Life can surprise us. Decisions we dislike at first can end up benefiting us in a way we didn’t expect. Sometimes relationships need a break. Sometimes we don’t even realize it until it happens. That doesn’t mean there isn’t love there — it just means that quite often we need breathing room away from the people and responsibilities in life that we’re most devoted to.
And that’s okay. I’ve learned that it’s all right to sit in that free space and revel in it.
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