My husband and I fantasize about having boisterous, naughty sex whenever we want — when the kids are raised and gone. We talk about it a lot. We dream about the days in the future when we might be able to have more privacy in the bedroom without having to muffle our moans and groans while we have sex.
We have a running fantasy about ‘empty-nester sex’ and what that could entail.
We love our kids. We meet all their wants and needs. However, it’s our sex life that often gets left in the dust as far as our own needs go.
Admittedly, we should be making more private time for ourselves together. Occasionally we’ll get away for a night or two on a mini-vacation where we can have uninhibited, noisy sex in a hotel room.
But it’s not the same.
There’s always that ever-present pressure to hurry up and have amazing, unadulterated sex on the vacation clock because we’re away from the kids and that’s our only time to do it the way we want to.
It’s not like being able to walk around the house naked together at our leisure or being able to have sex whenever the mood strikes us like we used to do before kids. This is how we envision our empty-nester sex life to be.
But will this fantasy sex life that we imagine in the years to come be as great as we think? You know what they say about best-laid plans — they tend to go awry.
I haven’t had the opportunity or brashness to ask empty-nester couples I know about the status of their sex life now that the kids have moved out.
Perhaps this whole empty-nester thing is completely overrated. Maybe my husband and I just need to work harder at finding more private time together NOW — instead of waiting until some magically perfect time greets us in the future.
It’s nice to have things to look forward to and it’s lovely to imagine what life might be like when the kids are (hopefully) successfully raised and on to their own lives. It’s pleasant to imagine what quiet time together as a couple will feel like after so many years on the parenting treadmill.
It’s even better to imagine having slow, languid morning sex that isn’t rushed or a date night in our bed without clothes and the bedroom door open if we so desire.
Alas, sometimes our fantasies are simply better than the real thing.
The idea of what our empty-nester lives will be like when that time finally arrives will probably be much different than what we imagine — and the same goes for our vision of what our empty-nester sex life will be like as well.
In the end, I suppose it is all about what we make of what we have now at the moment we are currently in. Yet, sometimes it’s the fantasies that get us through the more mundane parts of the journey
Are you an empty nester? What was your experience with your partner? Is empty-nester sex amazing or NOT what you imagined? Let me know in the comments…
We were empty nesters, now were just old folks. It did help to have sex time in an empty house. More relaxing fun. Still at it at 77 and 82 but much more sedately.